Our visit with the neonatologist

First and foremost, thank you to EVERYONE who has participated in prayer this week. We were overwhelmed with all of the replies we received from friends, family, and strangers. We got a count of about 500 that joined us this week in praying for Kinsley and our family! We are forever grateful to all of the people who helped us storm the heavens with prayer! Prayer in numbers is power. We cannot say how wonderful it was to hear from all of you and know that you are praying for us. There is nothing more special to us than to know people think this is important enough to go to God on our behalf. Thanks again!

On Wednesday we had a very good visit with our neonatologist at the hospital. It wasn't good because he told us everything is going to be okay or that our baby would live. It was good because he was an amazing, compassionate, warm-hearted man who supports our decision to carry. He assured us that we made the right decision and that he does not know anyone who has regretted it. He commended us on being strong and making a selfless decision for our baby girl. His words were very comforting and he did not sugarcoat things, nor did he say anything insensitive. We know that God blessed us with this doctor. Not everyone is so lucky. The medical community is sometimes harsh about t13 and t18 babies, not even considering them people. We are so relieved that we did not end up with a doctor like that. He was very helpful and described things in detail, as well as in a way we could understand.

We were able to make important decisions about the life and death of our baby at this visit. We are currently working on finalizing Kinsley's birth plan and with his help, we feel like we have made the best choices for her. We want her time to be full of love and compassion, free of pain and suffering. We do not want to put her through any unnecesarry procedures or tests that will only cause her more discomfort. Weighing these types of decisions since Kinsley's diagnosis has been very difficult for us. These are not the choices you ever plan to make as a parent, but it is the hand we have been dealt. With the counsel of God and the love and support of those surrounding us, we feel at peace with the decisions we have made. We know that we are making the decisions that are right for her and not for us.

I wanted to share something the doctor told us. For those of you reading who are currently expecting a t13 or t18 baby, this is a very comforting statistic. He explained to us that this is completely based on scientific research and that he is telling us facts, not just trying to make us feel better. I am going to type it as he explained it to us:

"Think of 7 of your best girlfriends. There are 8 of you all together, you plus them.

All of these women have or will concieve a trisomy baby at some time in their lives.

7 out of 8 will miscarry very early on in pregnancy, at about 4 or 5 weeks. Sometimes they didn't even know that they were pregnant. 1 out of the 8 (you) are lucky enough to meet me.

Now I know you don't feel lucky. You are thinking "Why me? What did I do wrong? What is wrong with me? Why couldn't my child be healthy?" It is EXACTLY the opposite. You are the special one. You could give this baby life when other women's bodies wouldn't. For some reason, your body was strong enough to give this baby life. We don't know why, maybe it's because you take excellent care of yourself. But, we do know that this baby is not a mistake. Your body kept a pregnancy that most women's bodies could not."

This advice was so comforting to us. I saw our situation in a very different light. I always knew that Kinsley was special and that she wasn't giving up without a fight, but I never gave myself any credit in this. I kept thinking there must be something wrong with me! Our doctor really reassured us that we did nothing wrong throughout our pregnancy.

I wanted to also list two books I have found helpful during this journey. These are excellent resources for someone who is carrying a child to term despite a fatal prenatal diagnosis.

Safe in the Arms of God by John F. Macarthur - This is an amazing book for anyone who has lost a child, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant/child loss. It is a Christian based book drawing from the bible for references about what happens to our children after death.

A Gift of Time -Continuing Your Pregnancy When Your Baby's Life Is Expected to Be Brief
Amy Kuebelbeck and Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.  - This is an awesome book that could be for believers and non-believers. It supports the decision to carry to term and gives first hand experience of many parents who have made the same decision. Loved this book.

Thank you guys for reading and for being a part of this walk with us. Bless you all.